I was lying in bed and thoughts and memories from 2021 were all I could think about. Since we are coming into a new year I thought it would be great to put a blog together. I didn't know what I would be writing on until the Holy Spirit pointed out all the lessons learned from my thoughts and memories over this past year.
I am not going to sugar coat it; 2021 was the toughest year yet! In spite of all the hardships I didn't close my ears and tune out God's voice.
Early this year in February we had a "snowpocalspe". We don't get much snow in Central Texas but this year we had LOTS of it; as well as ice, power outages and frozen pipes! The Lord blessed us that our power never went out. We had running water and plenty of food for the time we couldn't leave our house. Such blessings!!
Fast forward to March and I heard about the opportunity to serve by working at a Christian camp. It sounded amazing but I honestly thought there was no way I could do it. The opportunity was continually set before me and I wondered how I could do it! I carry the sickle cell trait and I can easily overdo physical activity. When that happens my body feels oh so tired and I can spend days in bed until I feel pain free again. It also can lead to me getting over heated easily. I have asthma so being outside in Texas lovely pollen isn't something that appeals to me. I am gluten intolerant so having meals made for me or tweaked can be extra work. On top of that I had been feeling sluggish and didn't have much energy. Well, I finally said yes, because if God called me to it, He would give me the strength to do it!
I had a blast at camp and God never stopped keeping me in awe every day! I never got overheated. I never physically over did it. I had plenty of opportunities to rest so I wouldn't overdo it and I never had to ask for those moments of rest; God always provided them. The amazing kitchen staff made accommodations on my meals so I could eat and not worry about getting sick or missing out on anything. (The food was amazing!!) I learned ropes skills, served in new and exciting ways and my coworkers became family. To sum up camp in one word, it was AWESOME!
While working at camp in June I got a call I never thought I would receive: my dad had collapsed at home and was in the hospital! In God's plan one of my bosses was driving into town anyway so he got me home as quickly as possible. The doctors determined my dad had internal bleeding but they could not find where it was coming from. Dad had to get pints of blood every day and he looked so weak and tired. After 3 days his numbers went up and the bleeding had stopped! What a praise report! The next time the doctors went in for a scan they found where the bleeding had come from and saw that it had healed over. The next step was surgery. With all the prayer and seeing God move I had no fears about the surgery. My dad went through it and came out of it wonderfully!
While dad was in the hospital, on his way to work one night my brother hit a piece of a tire from off a big rig on the highway. Steve was ok but the car wasn't. We were down to one car which made things a bit tricky to schedule around but we did it. We also had a hard time communicating with our insurance company and that was stressful. There was so much going on out of my control and I was starting to freak out, but then I stopped myself. I gave all my cares to the One who IS in control and took it day by day. In the end we finished all the insurance paperwork and got our 2nd car back.
Then July came and boy, life got crazy! Dad came home from the hospital on July 10th and I spent Saturday and Sunday with my family. I went back to camp and was told on Monday that my brother was covid positive. This was before we heard anything about the delta variant. I was put in quarantine for 3 days at the camp. During that time our elderly dog was doing poorly so he had to be put down. That was hard! Then, at day 3 I tested positive for covid as well. My time at camp was over, which was hard for me to realize. While at home all four of us came down with covid, the delta variant. We all had to be taken to the hospital by ambulance over the course of the month at different times. Lying in a hospital bed I was having a hard day health wise when my mom texted me that my brother, who was still in the hospital, had to be put on the ventilator. That night my temperature went up to 103 and the rapid team hurried into my room. I was scared for a while! But then my temperature went down and my numbers were better. I texted mom that I just wanted to go home and it was hard! She asked me if I was playing my praise music or audio Bible. I realized I had not done either! I put on my music and my Bible and refocused my attention on the Lord and not on the storm going on around me.
There was one point where I was home by myself and all my family was in the hospital. I still kept my focus on the Lord.
Mom and dad came home and we were getting reports every day on Steve, His numbers would go up, his breathing would go up, but then they'd go down. Then early one morning in August we got the call to go to the hospital and say goodbye. We got to the ICU but they came out and told us Steve had passed. We got suited up and were able to go back and say goodbye. I hadn't seen my brother in a month and when I finally did, yes I cried; but I was very thankful he was not in pain or suffering anymore! God surely poured out His love on us in the form of church family and family. We received many calls, texts, food and flowers. Instead of a funeral we had a visitation and boy, it was sweet! We cried when we got there and saw my brother displayed so handsomely, and at the end of that day I couldn't cry. My heart was filled with love! So many hugs and words of love were given and it did our hearts so much good!
As the months have gone by God continues to pour out His comfort, peace and love upon us. Thanksgiving was hard for me though. I didn't want it to be, but it was. The Lord was good, yet again and we had a beautiful day. As more time went by I went to the Lord in prayer asking for my time of mourning to be over. I have had many loved ones pass and every time the Lord comforted me and my grieving time ended. I made sure that I recorded a journal entry of that day! On December 14, 2021 the Holy Spirit led me to Psalm 21:11 and then I read all of Psalm 30 and Psalm 34. Let me share a few of those verses with you:
Let me tell you, ever since that day mourning and sadness about my sweet baby brother is no more! Sure, I miss him at times, but I'm not crying anymore. I've been able to write about July and August without a tear and one of the biggest testaments is Christmas. I didn't shed a tear! I wasn't sad or longing for my brother. I rejoice that he is home with the Lord and Christmas time/day was very beautiful!
There were many times this year I could have tuned God out and gotten mad when I saw situations not going the way I thought they should have. No beloved, I got closer to Him because I can't do life on my own. My strength would have been nothing. I had to rely on the Lord my strengthener who is an ever present help in times of trouble. He has never failed me and God certainly did not abandon me!
This year He has refined my trust in Him even when things don't make sense. He has reminded me that He is in control and if I have to take it day by day or minute by minute that's ok. He comforted me and my family and pushed me out of my comfort zone in showing love to them. God was faithful and took me out of mourning just like He has in the past! The joy of the Lord has truly been my strength this year.
So beloved, I must ask you, are you teachable? When things don't go your way or make sense do you continue to follow the Lord or do you pull away? When you get a no or not yet answer do you throw a fit or do you look to see what God would have you do in the waiting? Are you truly repentant and have stopped going your own way, or do you still go back to that thing you can't lay down?
We all have much to learn! We won't ever get to a state of perfection on earth no matter how old we get. It is only until we go home to heaven that we will finally know as God knows. Until then, are you willing to learn all that God wants to teach you? We don't just learn these lessons for ourselves; we learn so we can teach others as well.
If your year didn't go so great, look ahead to the next year. Aim to be teachable. Aim to follow ALL God tells you to do. Run your race with excellence. I am cheering you on brother or sister in Christ!
Be blessed, beloveds!
Alissa, your blog is beautiful.
ReplyDeleteWe continue to realize that God is our help and our strength. Thanks for your thoughts on your year 2021.
This is beautiful thank you for sharing.
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